How to Live Through the "In-Between" Period and Reconnect with Yourself

The liminal period, the time between "no longer" and "not yet", is one of the least comfortable phases of career and life. One chapter has ended. The next hasn't started yet. And most advice we hear during this phase points in one direction: find a job quickly, don't let it drag on, get a plan.

But that advice sidesteps the most important thing actually happening during a transition.

While we're working, our worth has a clear address. We can answer the question "who are you" with a title, a company, a project. In the liminal period that address disappears, and suddenly we're facing a question we may not have had to ask in years: where do I actually draw my sense of being okay from, when I'm not proving anything right now?

That's the core of what the liminal period does. It forces us to stop deriving our worth from a job title and to meet it somewhere else instead.

Not every transition looks the same

Petra left on her own, because she no longer wanted to do work that was exhausting her, but she had no idea what would come next. Tomas was laid off, and the job search is taking longer than he expected. Lucie left the corporate world to start her own business, except now her workday never ends. David left saying he wanted a break, and feels guilty every time someone asks how the job search is going.

Four different situations. But in all four, the same question echoes, just in a different disguise: who am I when I'm not defined by what I do?

Petra needs to find structure even though she doesn't have a job yet, otherwise she'll get lost in the open space of possibilities. Tomas needs a routine that gives him a sense of self-worth independent of how long the search takes. Lucie needs a boundary between "working on myself" and "never stopping", because a business without boundaries easily swallows an entire identity. David needs one thing above all: permission to rest without feeling he has to earn it.

There's no right or wrong version. There's only the one that matches where a person actually is.

A coaching journey: three stops

When I work with clients in the liminal period, we don't start by solving "what's next". We start with where they actually are. Only from there can we move forward deliberately, not out of pressure.

Stop 1: Where I actually am right now

Before we start solving "what's next", we need to name where we are, without dressing it up and without the pressure that we should already have it figured out.

What am I currently telling myself most about my transition, whether to myself or to others? If I didn't have to explain myself to anyone, how would I describe my situation?

Technique: The sentence without "but". Complete the sentence "Right now I'm in a period where…" three times in a row, without using the word "but" or "have to". The first time it will sound like a fact. The second time, an emotion might surface. The third time, what often comes out is what the person actually thinks, not what they think they should think. This exercise separates reality from the script we've built around it.

If you've tried the three-sentence evening check-in (a short reflection on "what gave me energy today / what did I do just for myself / what would I like to do differently tomorrow"), the sentence without "but" is its deeper sibling. Instead of capturing one evening, it captures the overall picture of where you're standing now.

Stop 2: Where I draw my worth from right now

Here we touch the core of the whole liminal period, and it's the place where Petra, Tomas, Lucie, and David all meet, even though their situations look different.

If I couldn't say right now "I am a [job title]", what would I say about myself instead? What gave me a sense of worth before I tied it only to work?

Technique: List of five sources. Write down five things, outside of work, that make you feel competent, useful, like yourself. It could be the ability to listen, a sense of humor, caring for someone close, a skill that brings you joy. This list works as an anchor of worth on days when doubt creeps in, and in the liminal period, those days will come. Having your own list on hand, not an abstract reassurance, makes a difference.

Stop 3: What pace is mine

The people around us during a transition often push: get something already, don't let it drag on. That pressure easily becomes internalized, and we start putting it on ourselves even when no one else is pushing.

If no one were pushing me, how fast would I want things to move? What would happen if I let myself believe that my pace is the right pace?

Technique: Weekly check-in. Once a week, always on the same day, ask yourself a single question: Have I moved closer to myself, even if I haven't "moved" outwardly? The answer doesn't need to be measurable. It's not about checking off a completed task, it's about noticing movement that isn't visible on the outside but is happening within.

What stays with you after the transition

Right now, in the uncertainty, you're learning things that will stay with you long after the liminal period ends: how to take care of yourself when you don't know what's next. How to remain yourself even as your identity shifts. How to trust yourself even when you have nothing to prove right now.

That isn't a byproduct of this period. That is its meaning.

If this topic resonated with you and you'd like to talk about your own situation, reach out, I'd be glad to pause for a moment with you right where you are